Jennifer's Body Trailer

OK, surely everyone knows by now that I have as much respect for Megan Fox as I do for ... well ... what do I have as little respect for as Megan Fox? But regardless, she's playing a psycho lesbian cheerleader killer, and I feel it's my duty to post on such things. Because, after all, the film is a pretty good representation of my high school career. A total rip off, actually. I should sue.

I want to avoid all things Megan Fox related, but I have to admit, I'll probably go see this. I love cheesy horror. And I love lesbians. I really have no choice in the matter.
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Megan Fox Is Trying to Make Me Hate Her Even More.

In an attempt to offend me at every turn, Megan Fox has made some comments about her weight and body image that insult lesbians.

Fox tells Britain's GQ magazine, "Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds."

Because if you want to be the opposite of hot, you end up looking like a lesbian. But lesbians are still better than bi women, right Megan?


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Olivia Wilde Responds to Megan Fox

Olivia Wilde, who played the hottest ever bi doctor on House (despite the almost hot then disappointing sex scene) responded to Megan Fox's comments about her GQ interview last September - you know, the one where she said she'd strangle a mountain ox to get with Olivia.
She says:

"I came into my trailer at House the morning after that article came out," she says, "and one of our writers had done an illustration on my mirror of a mountain ox saying, 'Save me, save me. Please, Olivia, make out with Megan!' " Though Wilde is a little skeptical of the recent girl-crush fad, she's always willing to pitch in for a cause: "Of course, anything I can do to save the mountain ox, I'm happy to do."

Well, sadly, Olivia, Megan has decided that you're too dirty for her since you're into guys. But, hey, just come on over and I'll take her place. I love oxen that much.
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Megan Fox Bi, but Hates Other Bi Chicks

Megan Fox discussed her same sex experiments .. er .. experience way back when. Now she's going a little further into the bi identity with her latest Esquire interview - with a major catch. She says:

I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite. I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.

OK, so men are so dirty that if a woman's slept with them you can't touch her, but you can sleep with men yourself? Sure, that makes sense. Let's hate on bi women while claiming massive amounts of male attention by calling ourselves bi in men's magazines. When she first hopped the bi-bandwagon I sincerely hoped it wasn't a publicity stunt. Now I have to write her off with Tila Tequila. I know I'm supposed to compare her to Angelina Jolie along with the rest of the world, but I don't recall Angelina ever writing off other bi women for her own cause.

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Megan Fox Hops the Bi-Wagon

How the hell did I miss this!?! Apparently Megan Fox told GQ that she was once in love with a stripper named Nikita from whom she received lap dances.

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided—oh man; sorry, Mommy!—that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration—like You can do it, you’re better than this! I didn’t want her to be there.”

Why her?

“She smelled like angels.”

Seriously?

“No. Well, she did smell good. Like vanilla. She was sort of a tough badass, but she’d do these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads. She had really long stick-straight hair and was Russian. I just liked her. She was really sadistic and sarcastic and funny.”

How long did it go on?

“Not very long. You know when you’re pushing something and it escalates much too rapidly and it explodes after only two weeks?”

It’s at this point that Fox becomes self-conscious—she seems, for the first time, to have recalled that she’s supposed to be on guard about her personal life—and she starts talking less about Nikita and more about how people are going to judge her for saying she had a relationship with a Russian stripper. “I don’t want it to come off as a Lindsay Lohan vibe. You know?” she says. Then, with greater concern: “Are you going to push an ‘Is she a lesbian’ angle? Oh man, you are going to do that to me.…” She pauses. “Look, I’m not a lesbian—I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl—Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but.… Oh boy.”

The look on her face says: Can we go now?

The article, by the way, was titled "Megan Fox was a Teenage Lesbian" so I guess her self-conscious concern was a little justified. But seriously, Jenna Jameson? I mean Olivia Wilde, well, no kidding. (She's plays the hot bi character on House. And I mean hot.) But Jenna Jameson? Yikes!
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