Kim Zolciak Joins Our Team.

 

Photo from Us by Dario Cantatore

Kim Zolciak was a star of Real Housewives of Atlanta, but now she's a lesbian instead. She broke up with someone called "Big Poppa" who I refuse to google so that I can maintain my hilarious ideas of what someone called Big Poppa would look like. She released a song called "Tardy for the Party" which I refuse to look up because I love my ears. DJ Tracy Young remixed the song and for the last three months they've been an item. Us is reporting:

Tracy broke up with her longtime girlfriend to be with Kim. Since they've been together, Tracy lost a lot of weight and got really skinny for Kim. They seem to be beyond happy with each other.

I don't know anything about any of these people (obviously), but apparently Zolciak is 31. She looks a good ten years older. Maybe more. I don't usually look to TV to make myself feel better about the way I look, but maybe it's time to start.