"The King of Pop's going to Lick Your Lollipop"

Just when I thought I could stop reading about Michael Jackson, I find I have to post about him again. This time it's more relevant than just another excuse to post about Anderson Cooper, though. Apparently, biographer Ian Halperin has tracked down two of Jackson's former lovers and is going to write a scandalous book about his affairs titled: Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson. The book talks about Jackson dressing as a woman to sneak away with lovers to seedy hotels:

Biographer Ian Halperin claims to have tracked down two of the superstar’s alleged male lovers.

One, who Jacko was “madly in love” with, met him for liaisons at a grungy motel which was all the debt-ridden star could afford.

And one told Halperin: “The very first time he had sex with me he said, 'The King of Pop’s going to lick your lollipop'. I still laugh thinking about that.”

Halperin makes the bombshell allegations in his book Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, for which he claims to have interviewed many people who told him Jacko was gay.

He said: “Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined.”

I don't even know where to start. I think the "lollipop" thing has enough jokes behind it that I don't need to go there. (At least not here. Everyone I know in real life is going to have to listen to it.) But the rest of it! Even Halperin saying "homosexually inclined" is making me laugh out loud. Maybe I'll start refering to myself that way. Can one be heterosexually declined? Because that sounds even better. It all makes me feel better about the obvious attempt to link pedophilia with homosexuality, which I'm choosing to ignore in this instance in favour of laughing at the lollipop line.