Elton John Isn't Going to Help Make American Idol Gayer.

Much to my disappointment, Elton John's rep has said that Elton has no plans on taking Simon Cowell's place as an American Idol judge. I was pretty sure if we had both Elton and Ellen on board, the gays would be able to finally take over the entire world, but apparently Elton has other plans and, according to his rep, is busy until next year. Justin Timberlake also turned down the offer, but since he's only gay in my gay men's fantasies, he doesn't make it into the title of this post.